Category: Life Page 20 of 30

Five years ago, I woke up to a beautiful bright sunshiny morning.  I stumbled through the sitting room like a zombie on my way to the kitchen for caffeine.  It was a few minutes past 6 AM in Seattle.  Martin asks me, “How awake are you?”  In my fog, I realized that all is not well.  He turns me away from the small TV in the sitting room and makes me a cup of tea.  Made sure I had a few hits of caffeine before allowing me to see the images on the television.

It was a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.  I could not tear my eyes from the little TV screen.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Martin and I huddled on the couch, in each others arm, in complete disbelief.  Then the second plane hit.  It dawned on us that is no accident.  We cried.  We held each other.

That night, Martin and I went to mass for the first time since college.  It was standing room only in the cathedral.  The cathedral was a block away from the Red Cross Blood Bank.  The line to give blood wrapped around the block.

I will never forget those words.  “How awake are you?”  Forever in my mind, they will be linked to the day the unimaginable happened.

I know I said I’m taking a hiatus, but the events of this past week has given me a reminder that things can be a lot worse for me. It is for all the people on the Gulf Coast in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. These people have not only lost some of their loved ones, they’ve also lost their homes, business, livelihood, and all the treasured items that make up their history, and sometimes, identity.

I have lost Martin, but that seems so insignificant compared to the reality of all those families who will not be returning to New Orleans for 16 weeks. If you do the math, it means that they will be spending the holiday season seeing the rubbles of their lives for the first time since the evacuation.

Please, if you have the means, make donations to the relief organizations. Last I checked, the International Red Cross web site was overtaxed and slow as molasses. Please search for your local Red Cross site, using something like Google Local, and make your donations through them.

Then check with your employer. Some of them offer matching funds for your charitable donations. Double your donations with one simple form.

Some of the relief organizations that I know of are:

• Red Cross (see above)
• Mercy Corp
• David Tom’s Foundation: they say 100% of the donations they receive will go directly to the relief efforts, no exceptions.

I’m sure there are others. I just don’t have it in me to Google them for you.

Thanks for listening. And thanks to everyone who have sent me emails. I’m doing okay. Some moments are better than others. Martin has been part of my live for more than half of it. I need some time to figure out how I’m going to live the next half without him.

I know you come here for fibery discussions. I offer one. My Bosworth Book Charkha arrived the day after Martin’s death. He encouraged me to order it. I finally opened the package this week and started to spin some hand painted silk/cotton I had sitting around. It’s been good therapy.

Allen Martin McDonough

4 October, 1963 – 21 August, 2005

You have been, and always will be, my best friend.

I will be taking a hiatus from blogging. I need some time to figure some things out.